EXT. COW PASTURE – DAY
Deep blue sky overhead. Fat, scuddy clouds. Below them, black and white cows graze the rolling hills. This could be one of those California “It’s The Cheese” commercials.
Except those commercials don’t normally focus on cow shit. We do. TILT DOWN to a fat, round PATTY drying olive drab in the sun. Flies buzz. Peaceful and quiet. Until…
… ZOOOM! WHEELS plow right through the shit with a SPLAT.
NEW ANGLE – AN RV
Is speeding smack-dab through the pasture, no road in sight. A bit out of place, to say the least. It’s an old 70’s era Winnebago with chalky white paint and Bondo spots. A bumper sticker for the Good Sam Club is stuck to the back.
The Winnebago galumphs across the landscape, scattering cows. It catches a wheel and sprays a rooster tail of red dirt.
Thus begins the pilot script for AMC’s prestige drama Breaking Bad.
Written by Vince Gilligan, and as illustrated by these two brief scenes, the script has an incredible vividness and readability in the scene description and actions–something that really slams home the possibilities for capturing visuals without being tedious or list-y.
Check out both the details Gilligan uses (“fat, round patty drying olive drab in the sun”) and the verbs (“galumphs”).
And notice how his shot paragraphs blend into each other both visually AND as they’re written:
…the rolling hills. This could be one of those California “It’s The Cheese” commercials.
Except those commercials don’t normally focus on cow shit. We do. TILT DOWN…
Not only can you easily visualize the details, but they linger in your mind as you move from image to image, creating the fast-moving sequence as you go. These connections keep the scene playing in your mind–it makes for great reading.
Things to focus on while reading this pilot and these scenes: narrative voice, vivid details, ka-pow verb, and an awareness of the connective tissue that links shots, scenes, and sequences.
Here’s a link to the script on the supremely useful TV WRITING site.
FADE OUT 